Americana: Fifty-one.

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There’s a man
somewhere on the street
laying in the gutter,
fast asleep
he’s out of his mind
but he’s in the bottle deep
and it’s all about the dream

What’s taken from one girl
another one sells
and both sit and cry
‘neath the same church bells
if anyone asks
neither one tells
because it’s all about the dream

A man in an office
drinks his gin,
knowing his election
was rigged as sin
but that little secret
he’ll be keeping within
because it’s all about the dream

Another man
cries his eyes out
for his female boss
wants him to put out
this kind of thing
his friends joke about
but it isn’t funny
and it’s all about the dream

The American Dream
is not what it seems
when held to light of day
in today’s USA
We just aren’t learning
and our hearts are turning
away from the dream
now it’s burning, burning

Somewhere else
a man-to-man clash
becomes mortal combat
with just a muzzle flash
the shooter, before running,
checks his victim for cash
because it’s all about the dream

A proud veteran
of several wars
wonders aloud if
this nation of whores
and liars and thieves
is what he fought for
when he fought for the dream

A girl who’s pregnant
had to choose
and told her boyfriend
her exact views
he wasn’t happy
now they’re both on the news
and it was all about dreams

A man on trial
for raping three
has a lawyer so good
he gets off scot-free
he happy but his victims
will never be
because he killed their dreams

A lady cop sits
with strong-set jaw
rubbing her eyes
to forget what she saw
and the life she took
in the name of the law
true, he was a criminal
but that wasn’t in her dream

The American Dream
is not what it seems
when held to light of day
in today’s USA
We just aren’t learning
and our hearts are turning
away from the dream
now it’s burning, burning,
burning away. . .

But it’s still worth fighting for
even after you can fight no more
the dream of a land free and bright
is well worth the longest fight
Don’t give up the American Dream
it’s still there, if you just believe
keep it close and it will stay
instead of burning, burning away

A teenage girl
with eyes so bright
just got into and won
her very first fight
because that boy touched her
in a way not right
and she saved her dream

A priest walks
and gives to the poor
but feels in his heart
that he can do more
so to the homeless
his church opens its doors
because it’s all about the dream

A man contemplates
a knife
as the means
of ending his life
but a friend stops him
and they talk through the night
now he’ll live for his dream

In a city
that has no hope
one boy’s found
a way to cope
he’ll write and cling
to rescue’s written rope
and escape to find his dream

But it’s still worth fighting for
even after you can fight no more
the dream of a land free and bright
is well worth the longest fight
Don’t give up the American Dream
it’s still there, if you just believe
keep it close and it will stay
instead of burning, burning away

Never give up on your hope
Never forget your desires
Keep the honesty to cope
with all the weak liars
Hang on tight and don’t let go
to your own Dream, because you know
your dreams will come true one day
instead of burning, burning away

©PCB 2001

USAFLAG

Voices of the Asylum

asylumbg1

the passion play
as it is played to-day

asyverse1jpg2

they’ll heal and be cured here, for this is
a serious house on serious earth

asyverse2jpg

I will cure them where my mother died; this is
a SERIOUS house on SERIOUS earth

asyverse3jpg

I saw an abyss inside a doll’s house I

Am sane I am sane I am a doctor

I am not going crazy I am in

A SERIOUS HOUSE on SERIOUS EARTH

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A SERIOUS HOUSE
ON SERIOUS EARTH
This is MY LEGACY
This is MY TRIUMPH

THIS is my

THIS is

THIS
is
my

prison

 

June 20, 2004
©PCB 2004

in homage to Grant Morrison and Dave McKean’s excellent graphic novel Arkham Asylum

Ode to Boris (or Boris, the Dancing Buffalo)

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It was a field, like any other.
In waving grass this field was smothered.
In this field grazed, scant weeks ago,
a normal herd of buffalo.

In this normal Nebraska chorus,
there was an abnormal one, named Boris.
Boris, it seemed, was incontent
with how, thus far, his life was spent.

“To graze, and drink, and rut, that’s all?
Most surely my life has another call.”
Boris was merely awaiting the chance
to go amongst people and dance.

Soon opportunity came about
as the herd passed a lone trailer house.
Boris stayed behind, observed and heard
what he’d need to journey in man’s world.

Standing upright was his first trick.
Driving was next, automatic and stick.
All this he learned from watching TV.
Maybe it is educational – coulda fooled me.

The English language he learned to speak,
and after practicing it for a week,
he felt himself ready and awaited the night
that the moon was full and the time was right.

A few days later the residents were drunk.
In the house he crept; the alcohol stunk
and burned his nostrils.  He persevered and found
some clothes to fit his 400 pounds.

They were from the residents’ larger days.
Unfortunately, in so many ways,
they were out of style, yet he wore these things:
a polyester jacket and bell-bottom jeans.

He took the keys and went out to the truck.
It was large enough to hold his bulk,
so off he went to the neighboring town
of Wahoo, Nebraska, to boogie on down.

He drove around and found a spot
that looked fairly busy but not really hot.
He parked the truck and walked down the street
to where he thought he and Destiny’d meet.

When the man at the door saw Boris come,
he thought to himself, “I’ve had too much rum.”
Boris reached the door; unsure how to feel,
the man ignored him, thinking him unreal.

The club was dark, so no one saw
a buffalo enter and drop his jaw
at the music, the smell, the dance, the lights,
for buffalo rarely see such sights.

This was not for him and he felt depressed.
He slumped in a corner, head on his chest.
What was he thinking? Buffalo don’t belong
in a place like this, of wine and song.

The learning, the driving, all for naught.
This and other miserable thoughts
were his.  Unexpectedly, breaking his trance,
a young woman asked Boris to dance.

Boris looked at her.  His heart raced
as he stood, light fell on his furry face.
He said to her, “But I’m a buffalo.”
She pondered this and replied, “Yeah, so?”

Taking his hoof, she led him to the floor.
Once he was there, he felt at his core
that he’d been right to take the chance
of coming to Wahoo and learning to dance.

No one else seemed to care
that one tall dancer had a lot of hair.
They taught him moves and grooves and steps
and he easily matched the pace they kept.

He Tootsee-Rolled, Achy-Breakied, and Bus-Stopped.
As the night wore on, he even did the Wop.
Boris did one step that they didn’t know.
In his honor, they called it “The Buffalo.”

On through the night, old Boris grooved.
On the hardwood floor, his feet moved
for hours and hours, his rhythm unmatched
by anyone else in this young batch.

Eventually, though, the long night ended
and Boris said farewell to those he befriended
promising to return, perhaps next year,
to these people who liked him without fear.

He drove the truck to the trailer house,
put everything back, and then ran out
to rejoin the herd, once more to roam
the Nebraskan plains that he called home.

But never the same was Boris our friend.
As he grazed and drank and rutted again,
inside his head, for the rest of his life
he relived the memories of his Wahoo night.

In Wahoo, and the rest of the nation,
everyone was awed with fascination
of a new dance started not long ago
affectionately known as “The Buffalo.”

August 7, 1996
©PCB 1998

La Petit Mort (EROTIC)

LAMORTBG3

 

The night was young,
and our bellies full
of deliciously sweetened ham
and gentle wine.
The candles burned on,
illuminating the room
in ghostly light,
aided and abetted by
a silvery moon.
I stood at the window
and glanced at that moon,
my head swimming with ideas
of what was to come.

Behind me, I heard
the soft whoosh of her breath,
and could feel
the room growing dimmer,
the expectant darkness closing on me,
making its presence known.
I did not move.
I barely breathed.
I waited for the next move. . .
and it came.
Her tongue gently slid
on the nape of my neck,
exciting the nerves
and giving my whole body
a jealous tingle.
She kissed the little hairs there.
She kissed the side of my neck.
Her hand ran along my stomach,
playing with the hairs there as well,
and she pulled me closer to her.

I took a breath,
the first, it seemed,
in days.
To say that I wasn’t nervous
was to utter a falsehood.
This was definitely not
my first time,
but this was
the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,
the only one I’d ever loved;
I wanted this to be special.
Into the abyss. . .
I turned around,
and was about to speak. . .
she saw my intent,
put her finger on my lips,
looked into my eyes.
I understood completely.
There would be no speaking here.
There was only I, she,
and a primal, animal passion
between her soul and mine. . .

I parted my lips, and took her finger
within them.
She smiled, withdrew her finger,
and leaned in to kiss me.
Now it’s on.
Into that kiss
I put all that i had,
as if I could actually
focus my desire and
send it all to her through
the mere touch of a taste bud
upon one of hers. . .
She embraced me tighter, pulling
my mouth down to fit hers perfectly,
and deepening the kiss.
My hands went to her shoulders,
and slid the dress’s strap
from them, as if claiming her body
as mine and mine only.
It fell to the floor
with a silky sigh.
She, however, so no need for subtlety.
She grabbed my shirt and pulled.
Buttons went flying.
One made a cute little splash
as it landed in a glass
of unfinished wine.
The shirt abandoned me
with such ferocity
that I thought my arms
would be wrenched
out of socket.
I almost idly wondered
what had happened to my tie. . .
I neither felt nor saw
it leave me, yet
there it was, on the floor.

 

I began kissing her neck,
loving the peachlike smell
and taste of her skin.
Her hands went to my back,
played there,
and then quickly dashed
to my jeans,
fumbling with all the buttons
but eventually succeeding.
The jeans fell to the floor,
where my boxers soon joined them.
She was kissing my chest
as we stepped forward
out of the pile of my clothes
and her dress.
My hands went to her back,
and quickly, deftly undid
the snaps and set her
beautiful breasts free
from their 18-hour imprisonment.
My hand traveled again to her hips,
and pushed down the silk
that seperated me
from her womanhood.
We stepped backwards,
out of our trail of clothes,
our mouths still on each other.
She stopped, backed up,
and lay down on a conveniently-placed
tigerskin rug, beckoning me to follow.
And for a second, I couldn’t:
standing there, looking at her perfectly-shaped body
lying there, on that rug. . .
I almost cried at the sight,
because I knew Heaven
could offer me none better.
Then I joined her.
She motioned to me to lie on my back.
For what seemed an eternity
she explored me,
hands and mouth and tongue
searching me,
laying me bare to the world,
exciting me,
and I couldn’t have formed a whole
sentence at that point if
I’d wanted to, my mind
was just that gone.
And then these sensual
appendages found my manhood,
and engulfed it. . .
my eyes squeezed tight at the exquisite pleasure
and all I could say was
“yes. . .”
I felt pressure building, and something
in me reacted,
stopped her,
and laid her on her back.
I wanted to explore her as she had me,
to know her entire body
and every curve,
and through it, her soul.

I nursed from her, I tickled and teased her,
and went everywhere. . .
and when I came to her womanhood,
the desire to taste it and drink of it
and pull that little white flower into my mouth
overwhelmed me and I did it.
From her flooded such emotion
that I did it again.
And again.
When I had taken her beyond
where she could go,
I stopped.
And began crawling back to her mouth,
kissing her stomach and nipples
on the sweet upward journey.
I was at her mouth,
and began kissing her again. . .
when the kiss was at its most passionate,
I entered her. . .
Suffice to say
that velvet would not have felt better.
Her hips swayed to recieve me.
She matched my thrusts perfectly,
and we reached ecstacy together. . .
at that moment, I couldn’t have formed
a coherent word
to save my life
and it felt as if
I could reach out
and touch the face of God,
it felt so heavenly.
But before I could,
she rolled me over
and, with an almost childlike gleam
in her lustful eyes,
began setting her own rhythm, which I had no choice
but to follow.

 
It went on like this
well into the next morning.
We were happy, we were content. . .
never have I felt so loved
and never will I again. . .
I will always love her,
we will always be together. . .
That night was a new man
made of me,
one dedicated to her
and who will never leave her.
I will never forget that night,
the night I found out what true love was,
the night we ceased to be individuals
and became one in the soul,
the night we became a part
of each other,
the night I died in her arms.
late march-early april, 1995
©PCB 1998

To Absent Friends

(sorry for the spacing; I’m too tired to fix it)

You were

my first real friend;

we saw each other’s eyes

and instantly

we’d known each other

for an eternity

of yesteryears.

You and your brother,

Fred, we called him,

because his true name

is unknown to all

save you and him,

you accepted me

unconditionally,

you accepted a child

that others

cruelly called halfbreed,

nerd, wimp, etc.

Your world

was my escape

from the real world,

from a world

of mocking,

taunting cruelty,

into a world

made more sensuous

by its lack of reason,

a world seen through

beautifully new,

if closer to the ground,

eyes. . .

You,

your brother

and I

were the 3 Musketeers,

not roaming

Medieval European villages

but instead

the primieval woods

of northern Mississippi.

We conquered foul villains

thirty feet tall

by stepping on them,

and rescued fair,

if invisible, maidens

from dragons

that no longer had legs

and cared not

to breathe fire.

We saved the world

a million times over

before going in for dinner;

we lived a thousand different lives

and hundreds of personas,

perhaps because our own

were so fragile. . .

We ran

and played

and laughed

as if we had infinite tomorrows,

but reality soon proved

that we didn’t.

3 or 4 years

after our first meeting,

Fred disappeared

in those primieval woods

of northern Mississippi,

never to be seen again.

No matter how loud

we called his name;

no matter how much

we, and others,

searched those woods,

he never came back. . .

so we had to move on.

We mourned Fred,

but we also pitied him. . .

he had fallen to the ravages

of the outside world,

but we didn’t

and never would.

We thought, nay,

we knew

we would beat the world,

we knew we would stay forever young

and for eternity

roam the primieval woods

of northern Mississippi,

perhaps even to be

reunited with Fred,

the lost musketeer,

one day. . .

we knew we would beat the world,

and in our hearts, we did,

didn’t we, Ginger. . .

in our hearts,

we did. . .

Even without Fred,

you stayed by my side

for years and years,

as i discovered

wine, women, and song,

you were still there

whenever i needed

a good listener

or just someone to

hang out with

or to comfort me;

no matter how

i treated you,

you were there

with inhuman compassion. . .

Until the day

I am damned to remember

until my last breath. . .

Until December 31, 1992.

I came home

and you were there,

obviously in pain

but unable to tell us

what happened to you,

but after quick inspection,

I knew. . .

and for the hunter

who found shooting you

to be great sport,

I felt pure hatred,

a hate so hot

that my tears

burned the soil

where they fell

as we both awaited

your appointment

with the reaper.

But it didn’t come.

Your job yet undone,

your purpose yet unfulfilled,

you hung in there

and stayed by my side

for a month and a half,

to guide me and make sure

I fulfilled my destiny,

and for that

I am grateful.

And on this day,

two years after the fact

of your tragic, early death,

I write these words to you,

wherever you are.

On this 2-year anniversary

of your leaving me here,

followed day after next

by the two-year anniversary

of the breaking,

of my heart, soul, and love

being torn, twisted, and broken. . .

I write this to you

on the rising horizon

of me getting broken again,

I write to you

because I need you now,

because I need your world,

because I need to escape,

because I can’t take the pain. . .

we knew we would beat the world,

and in our hearts, we did,

didn’t we, Ginger. . .

and in our hearts, we did.

We did.

February 13, 1995

©PCB 1998

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